Potty Mouth at Storytime

I have the most foul mouth of any woman I know. The F word is pretty frequent.  And all other curse words make it into my daily dialogue at least once.  You should hear me driving.  Anyone who’s in the car with me cringes. 

“You idiot!”
“Oh that’s fucking nice, cut me off!”
“What Fast and Furious you think you gotta big dick!”

So it’s no surprise that my 2 year old daughter has picked it up.  It comes out randomly.  It started off as “Shut Up” when her baby sister was born.  Then it moved to “Shit, Shit Shit,” when she dropped toys.  And then it progressed to my favorite, “Fucking Driver!” she would yell whenever there was a toy wheel present that even slightly resembled a steering wheel.
Anytime a curse word came out I would die laughing to the point of tears and my husband would give me the usual watch your mouth lecture.  She’s got such a teeny, “innocent”   girl voice, and then to hear her shout swear words – I can’t help it! It’s hilarious.  My husband is disgusted by the cursing.

I’m at library storytime with my kids, my mommy friend and her 2 year old daughter (the girls are like 3 weeks apart). 
Half-way through IT happened.  My 2 year old stands up during a story and yells, “I fucking hate this storytime shit.”  Me and mommy friend look at each other with eyes wide open our mouths wide open with a half smile and we lose it.  In front of all of the other normal mommies, we are laughing, crying and almost rolling on the floor.  For like 2 minutes straight I have a look of shock, deer in headlights and pure happiness while laughing uncontrollably.  I don’t even know what the reactions were from the other moms – I couldn’t see out of my tear-glazed eyes.

I did respectfully tell my friend it was time to bring my smut-mouth daughter home.  At some point, when I can muster a straight face (and believe me, I’ve tried)…I will tell my daughter that it’s a bad word and she can’t say it.  Until then it’s how she expresses her fucking feelings.

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