Old Yeller!!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Before you think this is about the 1950's movie with the dog, I'll spoil the ending and tell you it's not.  It's about my incapacity to not yell at my children.  I remember being pregnant and saying to myself, I will not yell, yelling does nothing but make a child upset, it's pointless, my mother did it and I hated it. 

I'm embarrassed to say I yell so loud that my neighbors must hear me for sure, I get the looks from other parents at the grocery store and sometimes my throat gets sore (if the babies were particularly bad).  I used to look at those lunatic mothers in the grocery store and think, "God lady, get it together!" 

And here I am, screaming my brains out at a little toddler and sometimes her innocent bystander sister.

When I yell (usually at the 2 year old), she yells, then she cries, then the little one cries and I yell some more.  Then I look at both kids screaming and crying and ask myself, why did I have to do that and create more chaos?  I vow to stop yelling, write it off for good......until.....I  can't control myself the next time.

I come from a long line of yellers...My great grandmother was a yeller and curser (even into her 80's), my grandmother was a yeller (before she found peace and started talking more to God) and my mother was a yeller (and still is from time to time). 

I told my mother over the phone this week that I hated the yeller that I've become, shouldn't I go to some type of parent therapy, get a discipline book out from the library, anger management, something to stop? 

I certainly cannnoott drink anymore...I will be called an alcoholic.

While my mother agreed yelling is horrible and only perpetuates more yelling, all she said was I came from yellers.  She didn't seem to express too much concern, after all, we turned out "fine."

But being a yeller is not fine.  Because sometimes I feel like a freakin' lunatic.

On the flip side, I don't know if I can be one of those moms who talks calmly and sing songy to my child if they just hit another child at the playground...you know the, "Okay Sally, loooook at mommy, hiiiitttinngg is noooottt nice, no ma'am, please tell Bobby you are very sorrrrrry for hitting him."

So, how do you communicate with your child when they've done something wrong?   Or if you don't have kids, what do you think is effective, or how do you want to talk to your children when they do something wrong?

My mommy friend (3 babies in 3 years), former school teacher and admitted yeller and paddle butt popper from book club said she is reading Magic 1-2-3 books http://www.123magic.com/

Until I find a real solution, I will try to yell less.

I am not damaging my children... I am simply giving them enough material to write a best seller and become millionaire's one day.

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