Love Bites

Thursday, February 14, 2013




My kid is a biter.  Not the older one, the younger one (1 and a half years old).  It's absolutely horrifying to watch her open wide like JAWS 2 and attempt to inflict serious pain.

She doesn't get a toy, she bites.  She tries to push her sister out of the way of the dollhouse, and bites her to do it.  She wants the snack her sister has, she bites.  I sometimes actually catch her in the vampire act. 

Here's a common scenario.  Older darling is playing with a Barbie.  There are fifty fucking million other Barbies lying on the floor, but little darling only wants the one her older sister has.

First, she'll attempt to snatch the Barbie.  Then maybe, she'll hit.  When she's unsuccessful, she opens her mouth nice and wide, goes for whatever body part is closest and clenches down (arm, chest, and face so far).  She even shakes her head slightly when she's doing it like a rabid dog- like she is literally trying to rip her sister's flesh apart. 

Today, in perfect V-day spirit - little darling gave older darling a "love" bite on the arm.  Only this time, for the first time ever, she broke the skin.  As in, blood came out and the wound turned black and blue.  I immediately snatch up the little one, and haul her off to time out in her room.  She's crying uncontrollably.  I am in shock.  So after careful consideration (and advice from my grandmother) I bit her.  I put my pearly whites right in her face, and bit her hand.  She was already crying, so it's unclear whether the bite actually hurt her.  I know it sounds barbaric.  But what else was I supposed to do?  I can't tell a 19-month old not to bite, because she has no clue what those words mean.

I am dumbfounded about how the little one picked up the biting.  Her older sister has never, ever bit anything.  And I also have this observation  - the biting goes in waves, and it seems to coincide with teething.

I googled, "how to stop a biter." 

This entry resonated with me: "Teach a New Behavior to Replace the Biting
If your toddler is teething, she's probably biting because of sore gums. In that case, offer something appropriate to bite on: such as a frozen juice bar, a hard plastic teething ring, or toy to relieve the discomfort. Kids often bite because they haven't developed the verbal skills to communicate their needs or frustrations. Identify what skill your child lacks, and then teach a more appropriate way to respond that will replace the urge to bite. Practice the new skill together, until he can successfully use it on his own. One youngster bit because he didn't know how to say he wanted a turn. Once his dad recognized the problem, he taught his son to say: "It's your turn, then it's my turn." The biting quickly stopped. If your child has trouble verbalizing feelings or needs, teach him to say: "I'm getting mad." Or: "I want to play." Remember to let him know how proud you are when he uses good control."

So that was the appropriate, well-mannered, normal advice for parents on Quaaludes.

This is reality.  I am communicating with crazy right now.  The kid is freakin' crazy.  There are no words.  Words have failed us.  And now, my kid is drawing blood for God sakes.  What if she does this to someone else's kid?

I have to put a stop to it.

I am seemingly out of options.  I cannot possibly bite her again, it was slightly horrifying the first time around. 

I need to know how the rest of you muthas have dealt with biting?  What have you done?  Or what would you do?  Hit me up on my Facebook page or tweet me.

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