My Kids got SHUUUUSSSHHHEEDDD on an Airplane

And it wasn't by me.

Let me set the scene for you.  Me and my 2 girls were traveling from New York, back home to Atlanta after the holidays.  We decided to get ahead of a snow storm threatening the East Coast.  First flight, went fine - nothing to report.  The second flight (the long one), was full and bumpy.  My computer had crashed a mere 24 hours before said flights - so the only thing I had for the kids to play with were a few Hello Kitty coloring books, stickers, plastic princesses and a book.  That's it.  No movies or computer games to get them (me) through the hours on the plane.

Mind you, I'm not a super techie mama.  I believe in a lot of imaginative play - it develops creative thinking, imagination, etc.  My kids are 4 yrs old and 2 and a half - neither own an ipad, itouch, i-anything.   They learn how to operate computers - at school.

So my kids can amuse themselves for a pretty long time - with nothing but a sticker and a crayon.  But, we're going on about 4 hours of travel at this point, with the layover and all.

About halfway into the flight - my kids start engaging with 2 young boys in the seats in front of them.  They're playing peek a boo - and laughing and squealing.  I don't loooovvveee girly squealing, but they're having fun so I don't bother to tell them to pipe down.  I mean - how would it go if I threatened time out at 40,000 feet in the air?  Or screamed at them?  Or took their toys away?  I imagine if I reprimanded them, the squealing would quickly turn into screaming....and ultimately crying.

In the middle of said squeals, the teenage girl sitting behind my children says, "SHUUUUUUUSSSSHHHHHH" right in between the arm rest gap  - directly to my kids.

 I whip my head around and say to her, "You dooo NOOTTT shuuussshh my kids.  You do NOT talk to my kids.  If you have a problem with what they are doing, then you can address, me, their mother, directly."

And I turn back around, and face forward....fuuumminng.

As if it wasn't crazy enough that this teeny bopper bitch shushed my kids - the guy BEHIND HER, pipes up, "She wouldn't have to - if your kids weren't bothering everyone."

Sayyy Whaaattttt?!

I have a choice, do I whip my head back around and give him a tongue thrashing at 40,000 feet in the air - that could potentially turn into a full on fist fight? Or, do I get creative?

Do I say to him, "Shame on you - my kid is autistic."

Or, do I buzz the flight attendant and whisper to her, "That guy in row 22, seat A is saying he has a bomb on the plane."

I do none of these things.  Even though I really want to - especially option 3.

I ignore his ass.

Clearly, the teeny bopper bitch doesn't have children.  So I can semi excuse her.

But, the middle aged man - I cannot.

Where the fuck is the humanity people?!  I have been on 2 flights today.  I don't even like flying-  in fact, I'm terrified of flying.  Then I gotta deal with a 2 and a half year old, a 4 year old and broken damn computer.  I'm annoyed too - that Dora isn't putting my kids in a trance right now.  All I really want -is to be on the ground, with a glass of wine and sedatives.

So this brings me to the big plane problem.  I mean, I pay just as much as anyone else on that plane for my ticket and my kids' tickets.  I shouldn't have to apologize for their behavior.

Annnddd......aren't cranky kids, turbulence and lost luggage part of the plane deal??  It's just the miserable, bullshit shenanigans that travelers have to deal with - just like TSA feel ups, bad airport food and high airport prices?  What else? I could go on forever.

This brings me to my travel with children solution.

No, do not inject them with Benadryl.

I simply propose getting rid of first class -and creating a a KID CLASS.  That's right.  A kid section on planes.  It should be reserved for parents with kids from 6 weeks to 5 years old.  That way, the kids can cry, throw temper tantrums, spit up, puke, poop, squeal, scream, etc.....all within the confines of other understanding parents.

I refuse to me shuuussshheed shamed by another non-understanding, inhumane, unsympathetic asshole again.  Because for a minute, I did question, should I have done more to quiet my kids?

NO.  I'm standing up for parents everywhere.

So on the next plane - I hope there is a kid section, where the screamers scream, the babies cry and the vodka keeps flowing.


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