The Cost of Lying for Kiddie Freebies

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Have you ever done it?

Lied about your kid's age to receive something for free, or a discounted price?

Examples: Zoo admission, movie admission, kids' meals on a restaurant menu, plane tickets???

Perfect example, your kid juuuuussstt turned 2-years old.  Last week.  You go to the zoo next week.  Do you lie, and say your kid is under 2-years old to get the free admission?  I mean, what would it hurt... the kid is juuusssstt barely 2-years old?

Or you're booking a flight, and realize because your kid is now 2 and a half, you will have to shell out an extra $400 to buy your kid a plane ticket.  Do you lie?  Do you claim your kid is under 2-years old?  I mean, c'mon, Susie looks 2.  She could sit in a stroller, and no one would know the difference.

NEWS FLASH FOLKS - IT'S FUCKING LYING.

I don't claim to be the most righteous person on the planet - by any stretch.  But, lying is lying.  Which means, it is in fact, morally wrong.

It doesn't matter if you think the airlines make enough money screwing every traveler and jacking up prices all of the time.  It doesn't matter if you think movie theater prices are outrageous.  The prices are what they are...end of story.

Having and raising children IS expensive.  For sure.  But don't you think if you can't afford movie ticket prices - you should consider a Sunday matinee instead of seeing the Friday night movie?

If you can't afford a plane ticket for your little one.  You shouldn't be flying.  End of story.

It sucks.  You can say the poor get screwed all of the time!  I know.  But, no one owes you anything.  Not a person, not a company.  You buy a plane ticket if you have the cash (ie, you earned it, saved it, inherited it).

Can you imagine if you got caught, trying to "fly under the radar" with your older than 2-year old child?  The airline employee would ask for your kid's birth certificate (because technically, if your kid is registered as being under 2-years old- you are required to travel with it), you'd have to BS the employee, then they'd bend down, ask your kid how old they are - and eeeeekkkk! Out pops - "I'm freeeeee".  With 3 fingers up.  You're toast.  Worse, you're a lying sack of shit toast - who should be embarrassed.  And worst of all, you're a lying sack of shit that won't be getting on the plane that day - unless you shell out the new, inflated price of buying a plane ticket at the counter.  I'm sure it's an $800 mistake - you'll never forget.

Good job mom. (Or dad, I know dads read too).

I'm not a super religious person.  Not super righteous.  And not super philosophical.

But, I do believe in living a life that is genuine and true.

If you lie, cheat and steal (aka try to beat the system - any system - I don't care what the system is), you will not prosper.  Ever.  You may save some bucks up front - hell, you may even feel smarter and richer for it.  But, you will not prosper.

It's called KARMA.

And Karma, is not something I am willing to fuck with.

That goes for the woman that buys a dress, keeps the tags on, wears it to a fancy event- then returns the dress the next day.

That goes for the people who return read books (not unread books) to Barnes and Noble.

If you wanted to "rent" a dress- there's a website for that.

If you wanted to "borrow" a book - it's called - a library.

Do I like paying top dollar to see the movie Frozen? No.

Did I like paying $10 for my barely 2-year old to go to the zoo - only so she could sit in her stroller - and barely see the animals at the zoo? No.

Do I like shelling out $400 for an airplane ticket for my 2 and a half year old - when she could easily sit on my lap the whole time? Hell NO!

The price is the price though.  Period.  End of story.  If you wanna haggle  - that's one thing.  I totally support haggling.  But, when haggling can't happen - pay the piper, it's that simple.

And one last note - and this is just a theory.  If you don't pay the imposed prices - doesn't that make it worse for the rest of us?  I think companies raise prices - to account for folks trying to get freebies.  So, thank you free-loading assholes of the world.  I think I'm gonna have to pay $2 extra at Lego Land today - per kid.




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