Schooooollll'ssss Out for SUMMER!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Which means I'm horrified.

Which means I am savoring these last seconds of freedom.

I am downright soaking up the silence.

My kids are done this week with pre-school.  And WTF - I paid for the whole month of May, but I'm only getting half - what gives???

But the real issue, is SUMMERTIME.

I've created 2 lists - things I love about summer with my kids, and things I hate.

I HATE:

1. Endless hours that I am now expected to entertain my children. I meeaaannn, this goes without saying.

2. The heat, unless I'm in a pool.

3. Wearing a bathing suit.  So self-conscious, even at the kiddie pool, surrounded by those moms that "bounced" right back miraculously to their high school figure after popping out 4 monsters.

4. My kid's soggy, wet bathing suits and towels laying all over the house.  They smell like mold after 1 day.

5. How the sun stays out so long - cuz my kids are all like, the line from FROZEN.  "The sky is awake, so I'm awake, and it's time to play!" Rude.

6. The playdates I'll have to arrange with the kids and parents I don't like, all because it's better than me trying to stand on my head.

7. The inflated prices of summer camp

8. Sticky hands constantly because of the enormous amounts of ice cream consumed.

9. Sand in little girl crevices.  You know what I mean.

10. My period. In the Summer. Exponentially more disgusting feeling. In the Summer.

I LOVE:

1. Pool time on a hot day.  I get a tan, and it wears those kiddos out. BOOM.

2. My tanned fat, is so much better looking than my white, pasty fat.  And what the sun doesn't bronze, my can of self-tanner will.

3. The beach.  Everything about the beach.  I love sand (except for in said crevices), I love the ocean breeze, I love the smell of the salty air, I love the relaxation, I love sand castles, I pretty much love everything about the beach.  Ohhhh, except for annoying beach house-mates, that sucks.  With possible annoying children - that reeeeaaalllllyyyy sucks.  Thankfully there is a lot of alcohol on beach vacations.

4. Seeing friends and family.

5. The food - Hamburgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, grilled veggies....well, anything grilled really.

6. The flexible schedule.

7. Fro-Yo, all day, everyday.

8. Staying up late with the kids watching movies in my bed.

9. Waking up late.

10. An excuse to get pedicures on the regular.

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