Stay at Home Dad, is Just as Stupid as Stay at Home Mom

Friday, June 13, 2014



Well, Happy Dad Day, that's first.

But, I have a bone to pick with society.  Parenthood, parent bloggers, the media, pretty much everyone that reports about "Stay at Home Dads."

Let's get one thing straight - I looooaaatthhhee the title, "Stay at Home Mom."  It's the shittiest, non-descriptive, un-empowering title in the world.  So is, "Stay at Home Dad."

Excuse me, but when is the last time you saw Stay at Home Mom or Stay at Home Dad on a resume?  No one respects it.  Not in the professional sense.  What does it even mean?  It's not even respected in the personal sense.  SAHM or SAHD is not fucking cool.  It's not flattering, Stay at Home anything sucks balls.  Ya hurd me?

Who wants to really Stay at home anyway?  Like stay inside the home they live in for most of the day.  I had to stay inside my 900-square foot condo for 6 weeks while I nursed a low-birth weight baby.  My first born.  And it was boring as hell, I craved diaper runs to Target and I was an overall, sad human being.

Just to be clear, I never want to be labeled as a Housewife (even though I have a passionate devotion to my husband), a Homemaker (cuz I order take out like 3 days a week, and may hire a cleaning crew from time to time) and definitely not a Stay at Home Mom.  Can you imagine us calling a man, a Househusband or referring to a man as a Homemaker?  I think not.  So why are we taking these already stupid stereotypes - ie Stay at Home Mom, and expanding it to Stay at Home Dads.  The term fucking sucks in the first place.

Just like everyone else in the world, you automatically think of this "Stay at Home" stereotype.  A mom or dad, who does the child-rearing, playdates, makes the PB & J sandwiches, reads stories for nap time and makes dinner....does the laundry, the cooking and the grocery shopping, the school selecting, projects, I could go on forever.

What if I told you, I get to spend most of the day - like 75% of my kid's waking hours with them.  We go to some playdates, crafts, run some errands, do nap time.   And I work.  What does this make me?  A "Work at Home Mom"?  Not really, I can do some of my work from home, but not all.  I do most of my work while my kids are sleeping (nap or night time).

Well, maybe, I am an ENTER PROFESSIONAL TITLE HERE who happens to be a mom.

Same goes for "Stay at Home Dads."  Have you heard the news?  "Stay at Home Dads" are on the rise.

Check out The Onion's take on that here.  Yes, "Stay at Home Dads" are emasculating themselves - and stooping down to demeaning tasks like grocery shopping.  If you are a woman, and consider yourself a Stay at Home Mom - take a look at that.  Saying, you are a Stay at Home mom, really puts you in a shitty category.

In the parent circuit, I haven't met a dad yet who has ever introduced themselves to me, as a "Stay at Home Dad."  Even if that dad doesn't have a paid job, and their primary responsibilities are centered around caring for their children, they don't use that term.

You Daddies are smart.  You aren't trapping yourselves in some ridiculous, clunky title.  Like so many women and mothers have been doing for years - you, daddies, are making a difference.

This Dad Day, I want to say thank you, first to the great dads out there.  The daddies that are engaged and involved in their kids' lives.  The daddies that support and love their kids  Whatever way, shape or form that may take.  And a thank you to the Dads that are breaking stereotypes, stepping into non-traditional roles - and denouncing the traditional titles that once trapped us muthas.  Cuz we're over that shit.

And in the spirit of trumping stereotypes - don't buy the dads in your life grilling utensils, tools, Home Depot gift cards or beer-related gifts. Fucking lame. Okay, maybe the beer-related.

Happy Dad Day.


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