Kiddie Birthday Gift Registries. 5 Reasons to get over it.

Monday, March 9, 2015



Parents are taking on the trend of registering for their kids' birthday gifts.  If you haven't heard about this trend yet, here's a good article from the New York Post, "Registries for kids' parties are a thing now."  And of course, kiddie gift registries have been met with controversy.  Some calling our kids "over-indulgent" and "entitled".  Parents against the registries are calling the trend presumptuous, rude and tacky.  Other parents are hailing it as convenient and hassle-free.

Hello? We are a society of crazy consumerism? Amiright? It's out of control.  So why would this be any different?

All I'm sayin' is if our society throws moms-to-be baby showers, and we do it for engagement parties, and we register for weddings - how is a kid's birthday party any different?  And may I point out, just because you have a registry - that doesn't mean everyone will use it.  I can't tell you how many gifts I received  at my baby shower - that weren't on my registry.  Ahem, lots of blankets.  Ahem, five-million fucking bibs.

So just because you have a registry - doesn't mean people have to use it.  It's a choice.

Frankly, a kiddie birthday registry is the same as a damn Christmas list.  I can't count how many phone calls and e-mails I get from friends and families around the holidays asking me what my kids want.  Do they like Barbies? Do they like crafts? What about this? What about that?

Holy shit, peeps. I ain't got time for all this.

The same family and friends call me with the SAME questions around birthdays. So why not just make it easier and do a gift registry?

Honestly, I don't think it's that big of a deal.  I think it's fucking awesome.

Here's why:

1. It cuts down on kiddie clutter.  Who doesn't have bins and toy boxes overflowing with toys?  And more so, bins overflowing with toys that your kids don't even play with?! We're talking about gifts my kids didn't want, gifts that aren't age appropriate and duplicate gifts. Just straight up waste in general.

2. Less returns.  I can't tell you how many times I've received clothing for my child that A) they can't wear because of sensitive skin - 100% cotton only is necessary for them B) a size that is waaayyyyy off - all because Aunt whoever is really good at eye-balling sizes (no, she's not), C) clothes that I'd never let my kids wear in public - namely, Disney character shirts and bikinis.

Or, I've had to return toys because we already have them.  How many Frozen dolls can one family accumulate? How many "Make Way for Duckling" books?

PS - If I'm not returning the unwanted gifts, the gifts will be re-gifted, or they'll be donated, or the gifts will make a stunning debut in next spring's garage sale.

3. It's easier for parents hosting the parties.  It's convenient.  I don't have to keep track of what gift ideas I told this person, and that person.  I don't have to spend countless hours on the phone and computer answering questions about gift ideas.  I'm too busy putting on a Pinterest-perfect birthday party. Here's the registry - BOOM. DONE.

4. If I'm invited to a party - it cuts down on the time I need to spend to look for the damn gift.  I ain't got time for all that shit, ya hurd me? I appreciate the fact that another parent is guiding me in the gift-buying direction.  I consider that in itself, a gift to the guest.  I mean for real, I don't know what the hell a 12-year old boy likes!  Do they like Playboy?  Cuz that's what they're gettin' if you don't give me some concrete gift ideas.  I have 2 girls.  Any guidance is appreciated for sure.

5. Your kid actually gets what they want! Holy shit! Why is that so bad?  I hate surprises - I hate surprises even more, if it's something I never wanted in the first place! Does that make me an ungrateful brat?! No.  It just makes me picky and hard to buy for.  Just ask my husband when he so lovingly tried to buy me a pair of diamond stud earrings.  I was like, ummmmm, nooooo, bye.  So disappointing.  Disappointing because that's not my style.  And disappointing because I hadn't expressed the desire for them.

So, to expect your kid to put on a happy, polite, fake excited face when they open a toy they could give two shits about.  Ugh.  Kids very rarely nail this fake reaction I speak of.  And it's just embarrassing for all involved.  Just give the damn kid something they want.

The kiddie gift registry phenomenon isn't without some limitations.  I think everyone can still adhere to some sort of etiquette guidelines.  For example, I wouldn't put the kid's gift registry on an invitation.  I think the registry should only be given to people that ask about gift ideas.  Also, I'd cap the dollar amount of items on the registry to no more than $50.

I wanna know what you think!

What do you think of kiddie birthday registries?  Obnoxious, rude, tacky, or genius, easy, convenient?

Please comment below.

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