Summer is Killing my Solitude: 16 Things Introvert Moms Think About

Thursday, May 28, 2015




Summer drains me like a plastic blow up pool.  The constant contact with my kids during the sunny season, makes my soul gloomy and stormy.  And we're only on week two of summer vacation.

Touching, talking, looking – tire me out.  The daily human interaction and societal stimuli wears me down to shredded threads.

The only thing that re-charges and re-energizes me is pure solitude.  Anything that can be done completely alone - sleep, read, work, exercise, etc. reinvigorates this suffocating soul.  My oxygen comes in the form of gulping down silence.

It sounds like summer break with kids at my side for several days on end, would be my worst nightmare.   A damn near, obliteration of productive and happy self.

Well, pretty close.

I am a self-proclaimed introvert.  Since self-proclaiming my personality status – I’ve been able to cope better. I’ve found “outs.”  I’ve sought out solitude.  I’ve demanded detachment.  And it’s worked.

I’m a happier, more vibrant person because of it.

As summer looms, and I start countin’ my private time like I’m countin’ precious pennies – I made a list my fellow “innie” mamas can totally relate to.

16 Things Introvert Moms Think About

1. Four hours isn’t enough time alone, more like 4 days

2. If I get groped or pawed at by another little human being I will go postal.

3. “Quiet Time” isn’t just for kids, it’s for adults too.

4. When my kids and I go to the park – it’s not a social event.  Unless, I invite you.  I am intently staring at my phone or my newspaper.  I brought both, so I don’t have to talk to anyone.

5. I’ll give you two hours at a community festival or “family-fun” event, that’s all I got.

6. Reading recharges me.  It’s the only way I can fall asleep at night.  Books are my Ambien.

7. If someone tells me to “go fuck myself”, I’ll take it as a reminder that I haven’t masturbated today.  After all, sex with yourself in solitude is absolutely splendid.

8. Hair appointments, solo-trips to Target and going to the gym is NOT considered “me time.”  It’s considered maintenance.  “Me time” is shipping me off to the North Pole for a week.

9. Small talk during pampering makes me feel stabby.  Got it sistas at the spa?

10. One close friend is all I want.  Preferably, one without children.

11. I won’t play with my children all day.  I will turn them down.  I will reject them.  Because I don’t have the bandwidth for that type of engagement.  I’m not a selfish parent.  I just know, and honor my boundaries.

12. Activities in nature - soothe and soften my soul.  Even if it’s with my children.  Hiking, biking, building sand castles, whatever.  Mother Nature nurtures my senses.  Outside time equals OOOooooooOOOMMmmmmmMMMmm for this introvert.  Just don’t invite anyone to go with us, otherwise, all that fresh air – will get sucked right out of me.

13. Mommy and Me yoga sounds torturous.  And counter-productive.  Now, downward facing dog all by my damn self, that sounds delicious.

14. I will never be on the PTA.  Next year, my kid will be in kindergarten at a public school - so I wanna make this very clear.  I won’t help with bake sales, classroom parties or any of the like.  I’m not a bad parent.  Please don’t give me side-eye when I drop my kid off at school.  If you insist I be “involved” - hand me a project that requires minimal human contact.

15. Kiddie tunes are mostly banned in my car.  Driving my children to school, extracurricular activities and playdates is enough sacrifice.  I refuse to renounce good radio, 90’s hip hop jams and NPR.  Non-negotiable.  Good music can dull all madness.

16. Wine is wonderful.  It helps me get out of my head.  Who am I kidding, I don’t discriminate, all booze helps me be less brainy.

Are you an introvert mom?  How do you carve out solitude for yourself with kids around?

Share in the comments section below.

Or tell me on my Facebook page, or TWEET me.



9 comments:

  1. What? Nobody else commented. Are there only TWO OF US???? This is me. Exactly. Thanks. I don't feel so alone, but I really like to be alone, so...

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  2. Sometimes social media is too much for our solitude lovin' sistas! So I think we're not alone....wouldn't know because anyone that likes this article is probably so solo-oriented that communicating through comments would be an introvert-killer.

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  3. to unilaterally dismiss helping with the the PTA because you claim to be an introvert (more like internet addict) while lamenting the loss of a "career" as a producer (a very social job) is kind of well, stupid.

    There is plenty of stuff the PTA can give you to do to fit your schedule and/or needs. Step up, be a parent instead of bitching about your kids, be a wife and bang your husband. He is an idiot for always feeding your ego with stuff about "how the kids wear him out" hoping you break him off some......

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  4. Go fuck yourself and stop reading my blog. The only one with an "internet addiction" is apparently you because you're acting like a troll.

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  5. I think we might be the same person! It's funny, I actually just came to the realization a few months ago that I am, indeed, an introvert. And this post is me to a T. I always thought I was an extrovert, and I didn't know what was wrong with me. I am so glad I read this! I reenergize myself by putting in my earphones and listening to podcasts or reading. I love to read. And alcohol daily.

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    1. Thank you for commenting! I found it so freeing to find out I was an introvert. That I wasn't "afflicted" with lone-wolf syndrome as so many "friends" and family members had suggested. Now, for the first time in my 30-something life - I do things the way I want to, not the way is expected or demanded of me. Cheers to introvertness (and alcohol daily)

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  6. Amen!! To all of that!! Although, since you asked for feedback, the reason I AM an introvert mother is because of douche canoes, like ahem, Anonymous up there!! Nothing pissed me off more than judgemental parents & unfortunately our world is crammed fucking FULL of them these days.. Luckily for me, I live on umpteen acres in the middle of fucking nowhere, so I don't have to deal with assholes, if I don't want to.. "Why are your kids running around half naked?? And on that note, did you apply the appropriate amount of sunscreen/bug spray?? Because ticks could be living in your tall, unmowed grass!! And I don't know if you know this, but ticks carry Lime Disease!!" FUCK YOU, GOODBYE!! I personally, can't stand the new generation of know-it-all Moms!! So I'll stick to myself, thank you very much!! And as for the "bitching about your kids" comment?! I must've missed the memo that said bitching about your kids is a BAD thing!! If you dare to say that you dont bitch about your kids, you're a fucking LIAR!! It's healthy to have an outlet, or else you will, one day, go postal!! So thank you "Anonymous" for my daily reminder of why I am an introvert!! Stop being a douche & get a life!! You're the one who looks like the ass, for coming onto SOMEONE ELSE'S blog, to be a dick!! Missquided Mama, keep doing your thing 😉

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    Replies
    1. OMG, BEST COMMENT EVER. EVER. EVER. Thank you! Double thank you for reading, and triple thank you for ripping "Anonymous" a new ass hole.

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  7. Nice post...I found it when I typed into Google search "introvert summer". I had been feeling guilty that I didn't hit the patios, or take up summer sports, or other summer stuff... thought I was weird but turns out that 'alone time' is something other people enjoy too!

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