The Reasons I Wore my Pajamas to School Drop-Off Today (And Don't Give One F*CK About It)

Me, this morning, hungover, about to go to school
drop-off. Hey, at least those are Anthropologie
jammy pants.
So, when did school drop-off become a f*cking fashion show?

Let's be real. You drive to your kid's school. You patiently wait through the fast-moving carpool line, and then you speed off to do whatever it is you need to do for the rest of the day. Or, sometimes, depending on the school your child attends you have to get out of your car, and walk them into the school - all of which takes 5 minutes. Max.

Why do I need to dress in anything other than my pajama pants for either of those scenarios?

If you haven't read the already viral letter from head of Skerne Park academy in Darlington, take a peek. Kate Chisolm requested that all parents start dressing more "appropriately" after noticing an increase in parents wearing pajamas at the school gates.

So not only is this head teacher setting a school drop-off dress code, which is absurd - she's also shaming parents that do dress in their pajamas. And furthermore, the parents that so stupidly agree with her smug appeal - are shaming parents in pajamas as well.

IT'S FUCKING SCHOOL DROP OFF PEOPLE. Not the fucking opera. Not the bloody theatre. Not the gawd dang Academy Awards. Pah-leeeeeeaaaseee.

Parents aren't wearing negligee. They're wearing the comfy, flannel pajama pants they wore last night to bed.

After reading this teacher's appeal to parents, I did a huge eye roll. There are a thousand (valid) reasons why parents might wear their pajamas to school drop off.

And don't even start with the "You have no self-respect if you dress that way." Or, "What are you teaching your kids?" Or my favorite - "They must be lazy if they're wearing jammies to school drop-off."

I still have a shit-ton of self-respect if I show up in my pajamas. And so do the countless other people that may be suffering from an invisible or chronic disease. You do know sometimes it's hard for a person going through an illness to get through the day, right? So, I'm pretty sure shaming them with your self-respect comment is about as low as it gets.
Furthermore, I'm not defined by my clothes. I respect myself butt-ass naked. So there.

And, what am I teaching my kids?? All sorts of wonderful things, including, no one should give a rat's ass about what pants you show up wearing. For anything. Unless you're required to wear a uniform to perform a job, that you chose, and that you get paid for. Or you're required to wear a uniform to a school that you spend most of your waking hours at.

And lazy? Reeeeallllyyy??  I'm about the opposite of lazy. I can't sit still because I'm such a spastic human being. I am always ON. Which is probably why I didn't get to put on other pants besides my pajama pants - I was too busy DOING a thousand other more important things.

Here are a bazillion VALID reasons a parent wears their pajamas to school drop-off on any given day.

1. They're sick with the flu. A cold. A sinus infection. WHATEVER. Because kids are snot-nosed, germ-infested creatures and they tend to pass their disgusting germs to everyone in their family- most notably, innocent parents.

2. They don't have to go to work right after school drop off. Maybe they get up in the morning to do school drop off, then go back to sleep so they can work 2nd or 3rd shift? You mean to tell me a parent that doesn't have to work until the afternoon, should be dressed at 6 or 7AM? Yeah, mmmkaayy

3. They have a chronic illness. It's probably invisible. It's probably horrible enough to just get through the day sometimes. Maybe you suffer from depression. Or anxiety. Maybe all you can muster is brushing your teeth, dropping your kids off -and crawling right back into bed.

4. They tried as much as possible to get dressed, but shit hit the fan this morning. Susie took a massive shit right after breakfast that required a 5-minute wiping sesh. Bobby let the dog out for a wee - but poor Fido never came back. He's running loose in the neighborhood. And Alison's puking.

5. Backpacks, jackets and car keys have all miraculously went missing.

6. A parent that wears pajamas to school drop-off doesn't give a f*ck about fashion norms. They wear pajamas, because they like to. That's how they feel most comfortable.

7. They don't go to a job outside of the home after school drop-off. To ask a parent who doesn't work outside of the home to put on a special outfit for the 20 minutes it takes to complete school drop-off is absurd. I'm a writer, if I want to wear pajamas all damn day while makin' all that cash-money - I could. I don't have a corporate job for this exact reason. I DON'T LIKE DRESSING UP EVERY MORNING.

8. They have a newborn. Which means these parents are exempt from basically everything.

9. They're hungover. Hungover parents are NOT bad parents. OMG! Mind-blowing, I know. Hungover parents wearing their pajamas to school drop off are winning - because it's a surprise they got their kids to school at all with that massive headache.

PS - this is why I wore pajamas to school drop-off today. I don't always do this. But, I wanted to barf because I drank cheap wine last night.

10. They have OCD, and those pants are the only pants they can wear to school drop-off. You don't have to get it. It's just how living with OCD works.

11. It's laundry day. It was jammy pants or a ball gown that I wore to a wedding last year.

12. I'm broke and can't afford cute Lululemon yoga pants. Because I'd soooooooo put a pair of those on to do, pretty much anything in life.

Alright, muthas, add to the list. Why did YOU wear pajamas to school drop off?

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