20 Things I Learned About Myself When I Became a Mom

Early motherhood will make you question everything about your past self, and everything about your new self. 

It is the most soul-sucking and self-obliterating task on the planet - you know - keeping human beings alive and all.
For a good long time, there's a chance you won't know who you are and what you're about anymore.

You might even feel lost. You might feel like you've lost yourself.

I think it's all part of the process. Once you gain some clarity (and SLEEP), you'll start to notice your preferences have changed. Your thoughts, your spirituality, maybe even your politics have shifted.  After all, we're a sum of our experiences.

You start looking at everything in your life with a different lens. And so begins this deeper, more intimate relationship and understanding of yourself as an individual and a mother.

Here are 20 Things I Learned About Myself When I Became a Mom

1. Coffee is essential for my survival. I cannot function without caffeine. Without caffeine I cannot live. Caffeine is considered a food group in my diet. I will hunt down coffee like an addict if need be.

2. I hate pants. All pants. Even yoga pants - well, I hate those the least. But yeah, I hate them.

3.Messes don’t freak me out. I used to be OCD-ish about my house. But, I no longer care. In fact, it’s mostly the opposite. I live in a constant state of clutter. Barbies, legos, school art work (ad nauseum), etc. strewn all over the house. To me, it’s a sign that I’m tending to more important things. Like painting and playing Candy Land and tea party. We’ll clean it all up next time we have visitors over the house. 

4. My cooking is horrible. I used to pride myself on my cooking skills. However, the fact that I have to fight to get everyone to eat my food, night after night, just solidifies that I suck. Which is fine, I’ve learned to like neon-orange mac-n-cheese from a box.

5. I can survive on Cheerios exclusively. I had to for like 3 days when both my kids were sick and I couldn’t leave my house.

6. My organizational skills are on point. I can pack a diaper bag, day bag, suitcase for a 2 week trip, the car, MY WHOLE HOUSE up for a move, whatever you name it. I got this. Water bottles, snacks, band-aids, extra change of clothes, (wine) it’s all there honey.

7. I need 6 hours of sleep (but can survive on way less).

8. I can get ready in the morning in 10 minutes flat. Hair brushed, makeup flawless, shoes on with a kid tuggin' on me. 10 minutes. That's magical honey.

I never said I looked presentable in 10 minutes

9. I actually love kids. Before I had my own kids, I mostly thought children were vile creatures. I would always find ways to stay away from kids and not be around them. But once I had my own kids, I realized little humans are pretty amazing. They’re brilliant. And I’m inspired by them. Moment of truth – I still prefer my own kids to someone else’s.

10. My mom tribe is EVERYTHING. The friends I had before babies mostly dropped off the face of the earth. Which at first, was disheartening. Motherhood can be a pretty lonely place without familiar gal pals. But, the friendships I’ve formed after children, go deeper than the surface. I found a sisterhood, through motherhood.

11. My hugs have healing powers. My daughter could be screaming at the top of her lungs, letting out big, deep sobs and all it takes is one long hug to make the tears melt away.

12. I value 'me time' like never before. Hair appointments, grocery shopping solo and exercising does NOT count as ‘me time.’ That's called maintenance. Netflix, chill and wine – that’s ‘me time.’

13. I have a strong stomach. No – not abs people. Pah-lease. My core muscles were ripped to shreds during pregnancy. No, what I mean is, I don’t get queasy with blood, vomit and poop. Disgusting bodily accidents involving bodily fluids don’t gross me out. I’ve held out my hands in a cup for my kid to puke into them (all mothers do this as if they can actually hold the amount of puke that’s about to come out), I’ve changed hundreds of blowout diapers. I’ve put band-aids on several scrapped knees. Nothin’ gets me sick now. Except amusement park rides. THOSE do me in.

14. My math skills suck. Seriously, I’m not even doing core math yet. But if the word problems in kindergarten are any indication, I’m screwed. I’m a writer. Writing is my jam.

15. Nightclubs are over-rated because sleep is more important. I always have these grand fantasies of having a girl’s night at the club. And when it actually happens, I end up staring at twenty-year-olds in crop tops, wishing I flaunted my badass body when I had one. I end up with a headache because I’m listening to music that is NOT Top 50 from the 80’s or 90’s. Not to mention I’m practically face planting into my martini because it’s 11 PM.

Me, hungover after a girl's night

16. I'm brave. I have to be. I've faced my fears, for my kids. Like climbing mountains. Most Recent, with both kids.

17. I have a voice, and it matters. I speak my truths now without holding back. I’ve never been more confident about voicing my opinions and speaking up in cases of discrimination and equality. I teach my girls to do the same.

18. I love the world. I love the people in it. And I love to travel it, and show it to my daughters. 

19. I’m strong as hell. Physically and mentally. One time I had to run, carrying both of my babies (who weren’t walking yet) up 3 flights of stairs to a hospital because the older one wasn’t breathing well. I’ve had to sit patiently at my younger daughter’s hospital bedside while she battled Meningitis for 5 days at 2-months old. I've had 2 c-sections.

20. I love being a mom. I wasn’t sure this whole motherhood gig was for me. My pregnancies were unplanned, and back-to-back. I struggled for a while post-partum trying to figure out who I was as a mother and how to juggle it all – work, marriage, kids. And some days, I do better than others at this whole “balance” thing, whatever that means. But every single day, there remains a constant – I love these little human beings more than myself and I love being a mom.

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