Kindergarten Rape Culture (Brock's in Training)

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

"I'm gonna marry her. I'm in love with her," said a little boy at my 6-year old daughter's school.

We were standing in line waiting to get the cafeteria lunch.

All I could muster up in that moment to that little boy was, "Nope. No, you're not."

I was trying to carefully choose my words on that special day. It was the first time I came to eat lunch with my daughter at school. All of the other mommies who don't work, do it regularly (as my daughter told me a hundred times). I wanted it to be a good, fun lunch. I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

But, as I gauged her reaction, she already was. Not with me. With him.

THIS is rape culture. This is the environment that allowed Brock Turner to grow into the monster rapist he is.

Later that afternoon when my daughter came home from school I inquired about her friend's name. I was trying to sound nonchalant about my questions.

What's his name?

What does he like to play at school?

I didn't want to be invasive. I didn't want to make a big deal out of something that might not be. I didn't want to come off as concerned (even though I was). But, you know kids, they can read right through that shit. Still, I was determined to get her to open up. And I didn't want to make her feel like SHE did anything wrong.

If anything, in all of my years of interviewing people as a journalist I've learned that if you start with the easy questions off the top, your subjects will quickly build a rapport with you - and spill their guts. It's human nature. And so - she went.

My daughter  looked at me quizzically and said, "He calls me 'sexy baby,' but I don't even know what that means."

By her saying 'I don't know what that means' with one eyebrow up - I knew she was baiting me. She knew what it meant. Maybe not the exact definition. But she understood the social cue. She knew it was sexual. She knew it was wrong. She knew it was inappropriate. My daughter was looking to me, for my reaction, to help her navigate through her own feelings about it. She was clearly trying to make sense of it too.

Naturally, I fucking exploded.

I explained to her that it was completely unacceptable for her classmate to be calling her "sexy baby." I told her that if she was feeling uncomfortable, she should tell her teacher when it happens first. Then tell me. My daughter interrupted me.

"I did tell my teacher."

I was blindsided. No one told me. The parent.

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

After my kid went to bed I sent a blunt but firm e-mail to both her teacher and the school principal. I explained that it's unacceptable for the boy to be calling my 6-year old daughter "sexy baby." I told them she's uncomfortable. And she obviously didn't like it because she told the teacher about it. I then asked what would be done to prevent this from happening again. I told both the teacher and the principal to call me ASAP.

Three days later I get a call from the principal. He explains to me that he can't tell me what was done to handle the situation because of privacy issues, but rest assured it has been handled.

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

ME: "Uhhhh, has it been handled sufficiently?" "How will I be able to judge if I think the situation has been handled, if you won't tell me how exactly it was handled?"

Principal: "If it were the other way around and it was your daughter that had a complaint against her of this nature, we'd call you."

That was my explanation.

To make matters worse, the principal offered his "expert" opinion on the matter.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it. I'm sure he didn't know what he was saying. Kids hear stuff on TV, in songs and they say it. They don't know what it means."

Right. With that, I cut the conversation off. I wasn't about to be mansplained about the influence of media on children. I got that brah.

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

A month later, my daughter comes home with a card from the same classmate. In it, he draws two stick figures holding hands. There are hearts on the card. He wrote "I Love You" in the inside.

My daughter bashfully hands the card over to me as we go through her backpack together at night.

"What's this?" I ask her.

"That boy in my class says he loves me. He called me 'mamacita,'" my daughter says with the same insecure, timid look as before.

"I explain - he's not supposed to be saying anything like that to you. Calling you 'mamacita' is not appropriate. I'm going to have to talk to your teacher again."

Mamacita is the perversion of "Little Mama" in Spanish when a guy says it to a girl. By calling her "mamacita" he's implying she's hot and sexy.

With that - I emailed the principal and teacher again and requested a face-to-face meeting.

At the meeting, I was fed more of the same bullshit I was fed on the phone. I was told the kid must hear it in lyrics. Or on TV.

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

I explained, "You do realize I cuss and use profanity FOR A LIVING and my kids don't go around school calling everyone bitches, assholes and fuckheads right?"

The difference? My kids have learned respect for other human beings. They know what is appropriate to say to another person, and what is not.

The clincher was when my daughter's female teacher tried to school me on the matter. She tried to belittle my claims. And invalidate my feelings on the incidents.

"You know, your daughter made a card for him too."

I said, "You're right. I remember. She made one for his birthday. She makes a card for ALL of her friends' birthdays."

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

This boy in kindergarten was giving UNWANTED attention to my daughter repeatedly. This boy was giving sexual attention to my daughter at 6-years old. HE was making her feel uncomfortable at school.

The principal was drinking some contaminated cultural Kool-Aid that blames this little boy's behavior on TV and song lyrics. I BLAME HIS PARENTS. THEY ARE RAPE CULTURE.

Clearly, they haven't taught their son to respect girls, women and human beings. They haven't taught him the right way to speak to a girl. They must be exemplifying and applauding this deplorable and damaging behavior at home.

Mister principal, after the second offense, why wasn't I brought in for a meeting with the little boy's parents? Why wasn't it even a consideration to have the boy removed from the class and placed elsewhere? Why are you not sending the message to the parents and to the boy, that this type of rhetoric and behavior will NOT be tolerated. That my daughter and her feelings MATTER. That her education MATTERS.

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

And female kindergarten teacher - You bringing up a birthday card that my kid made for her harassing classmate, and comparing it to the I-LOVE-YOU-RED-LIGHT-FUCKING-SPECIAL card he made for her - you are invalidating my daughter. You are not allowing her to be heard. You are attempting to invalidate me. THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

Brock Turner, his tone-deaf father and the unforgivable judge have proven what I've feared all along. Women are second-class citizens. We will not be heard. The assaults against us will be twisted to exonerate the guilty. Our drinking, promiscuity and walking-while-being-female will be blamed.

And while the Stanford rape case has confirmed all of the things I'm afraid of for my daughters - it's also surprised me in a very good way.

WE ARE SPEAKING OUT. Our voices coming together, our stories and our solidarity with the survivor and all survivors, is the most powerful thing we've done. We're being heard. And we're loud. And it's great.

I see the outrage and I smile. Maybe, my daughters won't have to endure rape culture for much longer. Maybe the adults around them can learn how to conduct themselves properly. Maybe my girls can grow up in a world where they don't fear walking to their cars at night. Or fear the cable guy coming to the house to fix the internet. Or fear the boy in their class.

Maybe instead, the world fears US. And our voices. And shakes at the condemnation we will bring upon anyone, that fucks with us again.




49 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, and very, very sadly, probably not. The thing is, Brock Turner did get "punished," as this judge saw fit. He was convicted of three counts of sexual assault by a jury of his peers -- and yet, it barely mattered anyway, as he gets a 6-month (likely 3 with good behavior) slap on the wrist in a probably white-collar jail. Even when they're guilty, they're not. And with everyone around him making excuses for him, there will never be a cultural shift. I pray for my daughter in this world.

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  2. I am not an American, and have been following this story through your posts. But I AM a mother with a daughter plus a teacher (in a high school) and the events you describe are appauling! Schools are a vechile of change. I personally work in an environment where females are not seen as equal. Not due to the executives, but the students and their cultural beliefs. Everyday I have to hear comments such as "she's a sexy bitch/ cunt" and if I (as both the teacher and a woman) don't stand up to these young men and say "UNACCEPTABLE!" And explain to them why what they are saying is both inappropriate and degrading plus derogatory, who will? They sure aren't at home. I am proud to be working in a school that has programs that target extreme anti-gender behaviours, where young men are taught that they can't treat women/ girls/ anyone which such blatant disrespect.

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  3. Well at least your blog name is right. "Misguided" is definitely the right word here.

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    Replies
    1. ok you didn't have to read this and can kindly fuck off. How rude.

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    2. This is very true, as I am a normal human who knows that a kindergartener repeating things he doesn't understand is normal behavior, and a stick figure "I Love You" card is not in any way comparable to Brock Turner violently raping a woman behind a dumpster.

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    3. clearly you either didn't read the article or you're just too much of a moron to understand. Bye Felicia.

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    4. I think comparing a 6 year old to a convicted rapist is ruder. But what do I fucking know?

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    5. LMFAO Dumb ass feminist bitches. You broads are funny.

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    6. Which set of many multiple comorbid personality disorders does this article-writing feminist have? Especially since when her very own daughter did it two years ago when her daughter was four, citing Dr. Ruth Peters who states that young crushes as normal. (See this "journalist's" article two years ago, "My Pre-k'er Has a Crush (and I wanna puke)" posted Wednesday, September 17, 2014).

      Sarah Hosseini is a hypocrite and needs a very long stay in a mental institution so her daughter can grow up in mentally healthy conditions.

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  4. My Pre-K daughter asked two boys in her class to marry her. :( I should probably lock her away right now... Too bad. Having a daughter was fun while it lasted.

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    1. At that age I had two "boyfriends" - at the same time. Obviously, I was irreparably damaged. I can't believe that you are allowing your daughter to exist in such a culture!

      ... Kids parrot words without understanding the actual meaning. It is disgusting to equate this sort of thing with very real events that have actually destroyed lives.

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    2. You are retarded.
      I got forcibly kissed, grabbed and worse when I was 10 by s female colleague one year older.
      I also got bullied and beaten by her, guess which was an actual issue and which wasn't.
      My sister used to say I had to marry her and tried to forcibly kiss me, she also beat me and bullied me, guess which one was the real issue?

      And now you are bitching about you on your own accord saying you had two boyfriend which you probably didn't and the boys (or girls) were probably unaware or unconsenting to it?
      And you call yourself a victim and irreparably damaged? Unless you forced anyone into sexual contact or bullied anyone and wasn't properly reprimanded for it then you weren't damaged.

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    3. my daughter and her friends had the boys 'rated' from 'alpha to loser' in grade 4, grade 4! the boys, of course had no idea they were being gauged like this, they were too busy playing...

      also note our dear author here posted a story a couple years back where her daughter did the same thing, strangely she attributed her daughter's behaviour as 'normal' etc etc... double standards much?

      another telling piece here is how willingly our author is sexualising little children, seriously creepy. if this is what feminism does to peoples' minds and actions i think we should perhaps re-visit the ideology and mock it out of existence, de-fund it at the very least, our governments throw literally billions of dollars at this parasitic entity every year.

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  5. These writings area total over reaction, these things happen all the time at primary schools and very much show your grasp on reality and the actual "UNaccepatable" things some have to deal with. These do not lead to rape culture in anyway and the connection is rude to those who really know it. As a female, who has actually been sexually abused I think you are way off the mark and read into things too much.

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    1. Sorry, I published that and it was not proof read. I am just saying the card writings and I love you and name callings are normal (and often learn behaviour), often innocent and what leads to rape is a very different and complicated thing. Your grasp shows your reality is far from actually knowing a life of abuse at all. You are privileged and over reacting and probably annoying the shit out of teaching staff with much bigger problems to deal with.

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    2. Sorry, I published that and it was not proof read. I am just saying the card writings and I love you and name callings are normal (and often learn behaviour), often innocent and what leads to rape is a very different and complicated thing. Your grasp shows your reality is far from actually knowing a life of abuse at all. You are privileged and over reacting and probably annoying the shit out of teaching staff with much bigger problems to deal with.

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    3. Sorry, I published that and it was not proof read. I am just saying the card writings and I love you and name callings are normal (and often learn behaviour), often innocent and what leads to rape is a very different and complicated thing. Your grasp shows your reality is far from actually knowing a life of abuse at all. You are privileged and over reacting and probably annoying the shit out of teaching staff with much bigger problems to deal with.

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  6. https://youtu.be/p2xeSz1z3rc

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  7. so when your daughter is doing this it's just natural (http://www.sarahhosseini.com/2014/09/my-pre-ker-has-crush-and-i-wanna-puke.html), yet when it's a boy... RAPE CULTURE.

    you're allowing your ideology to think for you or you are simply being dishonest.

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    1. It's not hypocrisy when feminists do it.

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  8. I'm sorry I can't take this seriously....I just can't stop laughing. Kids say this things. I have heard worse things before and someone calling you "sexy baby" isn't the end of the world. Do you honestly view that as sexual harassment?

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    1. it would be funny if she did not get paid for this crap and people didn't take her seriously.

      although can you imagine being the teacher, i hope the teacher and staff record these intereactions... now that would be funny ;)

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  9. Look at your own article.
    http://www.sarahhosseini.com/2014/09/my-pre-ker-has-crush-and-i-wanna-puke.html

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  10. FEMINISM IS CANCER. KYS, please.

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  11. You are scum, and i hope you die.

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  12. Incredible.... fucking incredible... I can't get over this article. Is the author being a POE? Surely, no one this delusional can be in charge of raising children?

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Actually no she is serious, she is feminist, so cognitive dissonance is par for the course.

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  13. But it's okay when your own kid does it?

    You should be fucking ashamed of yourself, you misandristic hypocrite.

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  14. this is what feminism looks like.
    as a kid i bullied a lot of boys and i kissed them.
    i guess im a rapist or dos that only apply to boys?

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  15. You are raising your daughter to be an angry lonely cat lady. I am amazed any man would want to be with you, and the way you are bringing up your daughter, you will be extremely lucky to have grand children.

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  16. Sarah Hosseini WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2014

    “the fact that my 4-year old has [rape cultured a little] boy. I'm horrified actually. I sat in bed last night asking my husband, "what did I do wrong?!"
    "Too many Disney movies?"

    “Anyways, apparently it's pretty common for kids at this age to have a crush. They're acting out what they've seen in movies or what they see at home. Playing house, if you will.”

    Are you cuntplaining away your child’s inappropriate behaviour, you rape apologist?

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  17. Well, time for a doublebarrel mouthwash. There should be a trigger warning at the top. Never read anything this retarded before. Congratulations, Sarah Hosseini, you and your likes are the reason that feminism is nothing but a joke anymore. I hope you burn in hell for telling this shit to people that could be gullible enough to believe this...

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  18. I love this silly thing feminists do, these days. Ignore the thousands of cases where the rapist gets an appropriate punishment. Ignore all the false allegations. Just keep pointing to one case (Brock Turner) of a rapist getting off light, as "proof" of "rape culture".

    Utter nonsense. Rapists are hated in our society. Want to ruin someone's life? Accuse them of rape. Even if they've never been in the same room as you. When the case is dropped, enough people will have seen him in the news, that he will likely never work again, and will lose respect/love from people he's known for years. He may even be assaulted in the street.

    Being a rapist (or even being accused of rape) makes you a target. Even serial killers, think they are better than Rapists. Rapists (and innocent victims of false accusation who are convicted) are treated like the scum of the earth by society, and they are treated like blow up dolls and punching bags in prison.

    That's not rape culture. Brockton Turner is the exception. Not the norm.

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  19. The ignorant harpie behind this blog should really be ashamed of herself for blowing up and sexualizing an innocent child's act.Not only have you stolen the innocence from your daughter and but also that naive little boy whom your demonizing as a future rapist.This is not a fucking rape culture. Children quoting something they've heard from a random source is not indicative of any kind of female oppression. Kids are dumb people who don't understand stuff, as a general rule.You "rape culture" hysterics disgust me.

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  20. Spot on article.
    THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.
    Women screaming rape because little boys and girls figure out they like each other. Fantasizing about rape. Making false accusations about rape. Dreaming and obsessing about rape. Actually raping people, in every way possible.
    THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.
    How is it I need a license to drive or visit a national park yet they let loonies like this breed?
    THIS IS RAPE CULTURE.

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  21. The reason feminists are so angry about Brook Turner is because he got the same sentence a female sex offender would have gotten because women are rarely if ever charged with rape like men, just sexual assault.

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  22. here in america jack Barnes mra is trying to dox you just to let you know .he is with the grp who hates women AVFM

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  23. You were always speaking out. You were speaking out when black men were hanged on false rape charges. You were speaking out when dark skinned men became synonymous with horny. You were speaking out when the father of a child was taken away on false pretense of domestic violence and because you had a vagina.

    Times have changed. You are just being ignored.

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  24. I read your article- and I would like you to know I am a survivor I was raped- It was at that age and you know what- I am a man!!! I got over it and have been married now for thirty years, raised 3 fine and successful children. And guess what your one sick sad parent your article completely conflicts with one you wrote a couple years back when your child had a crush on someone- You have robbed these children of their innocence- and the comments about your daughters liking a boy are down right chilling- Your man hating knows no limits- You are the sick one and I would bet a dime to a dollar you drove the Fathers of your daughters right out of their lives- YOU SAD SICK BITCH YOU KNOW NO SHAME AND PROJECTING YOUR INSECURITIES ON YOUR DAUGHTERS WILL DRIVE THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE EVENTUALLY JUST AS YOU HAVE DRIVEN THE MEN OUT OF YOUR LIFE- YOU WILL BE OLD, FAT, MEAN AND ALONE SMELLING LIKE CAT PISS

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  25. I have to say, the comments on this post have made my day. I've never been called a retard, I've never been told to die, I've never called a six year old a friggin rapist.

    What has gone wrong with this world? Six year olds are learning how to react and grow. If your kid had slapped him and said don't call me sexy, it would have been a lot better than you going to the school and completely wrecking this boy. He told your daughter he loved her, don't you want that for your girls? PS I want to be told I'm loved and that I'm sexy, all women do.

    He is just a kid, lighten up. This isn’t rape culture, this is a six year old boy.

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  26. There is no such thing as rape culture. Society does NOT normalize rape. Mansplaining is not a thing either. Is womansplaining a thing? A 6 year old kid has no idea wtf sex is. The principle was correct. The kid probably heard it on TV or in a song, and is just parroting what he heard. Rape culture my ass.. it's a 6 year old kid. The author of this article is insane.

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  27. Funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh :)

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  28. It's funny because you do the same thing the little boy did: You just copy things you heard from the TV or the internet and repeat it without understanding it because clearly you don't know what rape or rape culture is.

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  29. You shouod home school your daughter. You are going to mess her up and she is going to take other kids down with her. The little boy is clearly repeating something he has heard, he doesnt even have sexual urges yet. Children have crushes, they play pretend, when he is older the bubble will burst and marriage will be far from his mind bc he will learn marriage doesnt benifit him, its one sided toward the female unless you lucky out and find a really good woman, and many young women are raised in this psycotic rape culture hysteria and there just wont be many out there. If my son or daughter was in your daughters school and i knew about this, this meaning you and your beliefs, i would pull him or her out before your daughter soread your beliefs, repeating what you say at home to my children.

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  30. All girl school? Maybe? No i really think home school is your best bet. And all the children that may one day parrot your voice coming out of your daughter. Sad. Hysterics. Double standard.

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  31. Proof positive there is no rape culture. When you start screaming that a boy who's balls haven't even dropped yet that he is round anything sexual. It boggles the mind how you think you can be taken seriously when you act this way. And what you do is piss people off. So much do that people who would have ignored you, like me, will now make our voices heard and stop the chaos you plan to inject in the world.

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