Women And Mothers: This is Why You Should Have a "Fuck Off" Fund

Do you have a "FUCK OFF" fund? Women? Mothers? I know it's uncomfortable for some to talk about money- but let's discuss.

My "FUCK OFF" fund isn't grand because the beautiful thing I was just able to buy with it, no questions asked. But seriously, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. No quantifying, no explanations. That's IMPORTANT to me. That's powerfully part of it.

I bought something for myself- not my kids, not my house- that I've been wanting for awhile. A splurge? Yes. 100 %. Do I feel guilty? NO. I EARNED THAT SHIT.

My FUCK OFF fund has been reserved for:

Leaving a job I hate. (Thankfully I currently love mine, but it wasn't always this way).

Romance and love gone wrong. If you're tethered inextricably through a joint account that is risky.

Security. Plan B. C ..
Travel. ALONE.

My student loans. Seriously they're at 50K.

Emergencies and surprises. Car breakdowns happen. And wildly expensive hospital and doctor bills the insurance didn't end up covering happen.

Donating to causes I care about: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and all empowering women and impoverished people non-profit agencies.

And I guess, now, GUCCI. I don't feel bad or silly about that. I own my warm, fuzzy feelings about fashion.

I will shamefully admit that I didn't have a "FUCK OFF" fund for my many years of marriage. I put all earnings in a joint account. And I shared it with someone that had access to it anytime.

For the record I'm not married to a monster. Hell, if I "asked" him for this purchase he would've blessed it. Not batted an eyelash. At least not in front of me. But I DID THIS MYSELF. No discussion. No permission. No approval.

I will recognize my privilege here and tell you, we won't starve over my splurge. And I have so much gratitude for that. But when I left that store I had so much swagger. So much empowered-woman swagger.

I get that not everyone can have a "FUCK OFF" fund. Many live paycheck to paycheck. Many can't save. But if you can scrounge even pennies-DO IT.

I have contributed in paid and unpaid ways to my family. The mental load alone of a mother is astronomical. Sometimes we merge it blindly in a "family fund."

Just because you're a woman- that doesn't mean you're stupid with money. Or that I'm telling you something you don't already know. I'm just reaffirming the power of a proper "fuck off" with dollar bills behind it.

Whether it's Gucci or an expensive gelato. Or pricey pasta or nice panties or hair color or Botox.

A piece of art that painted your aura. A book that spoke to your soul. A pair of sneakers that help you run.

A trip that you need to fill the cracks of you, the curiosity. To blot out the mundane daily routine. To be bewildered.

A new tattoo to self-express. A conference you've been dying to go to.

Or escape from an abusive relationship. Or an unhappy one. .
Or a restart. A do-over. Or a dream.

They're all valid with a "FUCK OFF" fund.

So middle fingers up- save, spend, and live however you want.

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